Screaming into the Void

I Decidedly Do Not Accept Your Apology

For months, I grieved.

Throwing a picture frame from the second floor may not make for the prettiest photo, but it gave me more closure than I ever got from your dusty, dismissive-avoidant ass. Photo by author: Veronica Wren

Right up until the end, I was under the impression that our two-year relationship was going great. You made me believe that.

So what did I do to you to make you treat me like this?

Out of the blue, you stonewalled someone you’ve known for 12 years, someone you’d spent a month living with, someone you called your life partner, just so you wouldn’t have to talk about your feelings.

A few months into the breakup, right around the time when I was starting to accept that you’d never speak to me again, you reared your underwhelming head to tell me you wanted to talk.

Then you ghosted again.

How fucking dare you give me that hope.

How could you treat someone you claimed to love like this?

What else could I have possibly done?

What the FUCK did I do to you?

These were the questions I asked myself on a loop as my heart ripped itself to shreds inside of me over and over.

Every single moment of every single day, you chose to treat me like I didn’t exist. It was easier…