Nurturing Bite-Sized, Healthy Habits Post-Trauma
Celebrating 365 Educational Days of Duolingo
How often have you felt inspired to form a new, healthier routine, only to give up within a week? It seems no matter how much we long to improve ourselves, it’s incredibly difficult to make healthy changes stick.
Whether it’s eating healthier, blocking out time to write (@ myself), or learning a new hobby, it’s tough to find the time, focus, and motivation to establish and maintain a new habit. Unfortunately, those who have experienced trauma may face even more roadblocks due to their symptoms.
Through my experience learning Spanish with Duolingo, I’ve found a supportive tool that combines bite-sized lessons, gamification, and community engagement to help me overcome some of the difficulties caused by my diagnosis of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). Let’s explore some of these obstacles, along with potential remedies, by analyzing how Duolingo motivated me to go from downloading and deleting the app several times a year to celebrating a 365-day streak.
I am not sponsored by or affiliated with Duolingo in any way (although hit me up, búho). My love and enthusiasm for this language-learning platform stem solely from my personal experience and the benefits it has brought to my educational journey. I appreciate Duolingo for its ability to make language learning accessible and engaging for anyone.
Hypervigilance and Emotional Triggers
Those living with CPTSD often exist in a state of hypervigilance, or a heightened awareness and sensitivity to potential threats in the environment. Constantly scanning for danger and being hyper-alert can lead to difficulty focusing and maintaining consistent routines. It’s pretty tough to concentrate on relaxing or enrichment when your brain is constantly screaming at you that you’re in danger.
Additionally, individuals with CPTSD may experience emotional triggers reminding them of past traumatic experiences. These triggers can evoke intense emotional responses, further disrupting the focus and motivation required to establish new habits.
The structured and bite-sized nature of Duolingo’s lessons provided a manageable way for me approach language learning, accommodating the challenges posed by this chronic hypervigilance. With its short and focused daily exercises, Duolingo allows learners to consistently engage with the material without demanding an overwhelming amount of time/focus or triggering heightened anxiety.
Emotional Dysregulation
Individuals with CPTSD often experience intense and unpredictable emotions such as fear, rage, sadness, or shame. This emotional rollercoaster can result in impulsive behaviors, mood swings, relationship difficulties, and overall trouble maintaining stability.
By focusing on the sense of accomplishment that comes with completing lessons and achieving goals, Duolingo provides a distraction from triggering stimuli and a channel for redirecting emotional responses. The app’s leveling system, streaks, and achievements foster a sense of progress and reward, helping individuals feel motivated even in the face of emotional challenges.
The fact that I recently kept my Duolingo streak going even through a horrendous breakup where I was stonewalled (for zero reason) in the same week that I was diagnosed with CPTSD and began the emotionally-disorienting process of adjusting to my first SSRI (something my avoidant future-doctor ex was well aware of when he decided to dump me on a whim… TRASH.) is evidence that my Spanish-learning habit was ingrained af.
More on that drama in another article, I’m sure. The point is that thanks to Duolingo, even when I was emotionally dysregulated and sobbing so hard I literally couldn’t peel myself off of the kitchen floor for hours at a time, I was able to find a few moments a day where I found the will to keep my learning going.
Focus, Memory, and Cognition
As mentioned, people with CPTSD often experience a chronically heightened stress response. When this survival response is activated, the brain is more concerned with surviving moment-to-moment than it is with properly forming and storing memories. As a result, CPTSD often impacts memory and cognitive functioning.
Duolingo’s dynamic learning model makes learning accessible to everyone regardless of memory issues or other cognitive impairments. The short lessons accommodate even the most hectic schedules and provide manageable daily progress. You can even turn on notifications to remind you to practice daily (which will absolutely hound you if they catch you slacking).
Limited Energy and Fatigue
In case you haven’t already gathered this, living with CPTSD can be a physically and emotionally draining experience. I often find myself wishing I could take a break from my own brain to properly recharge (do we have someone working on this technology?). This makes any efforts to engage in habits that require effort and motivation an uphill battle.
Duolingo’s daily lessons are designed to be short and digestible, making it easy to fit a few minutes of learning into a busy schedule. This helps to combat the mental exhaustion associated with longer study sessions; making it ideal for individuals with memory issues, chronic fatigue, or limited attention spans.
Overwhelm and Self-Sabotage
As you’ve likely experienced, prioritizing self-care while other stressors simultaneously compete for your attention is a nearly impossible task. Individuals with CPTSD regularly find themselves confronted with the distressing aftermath of past trauma.
Thanks to the stigma around mental health that still very much exists, these individuals are typically forced to attempt to navigate daily life at the same time with little support. These mindsets can lead to self-sabotage and self-blame when attempting to establish healthy habits.
Whatever the language, I’m personally far more comfortable reading and writing than speaking. Duolingo’s adaptive learning algorithm adjusts to learners’ strengths and weaknesses, providing personalized content and targeted practice. This adaptability helps learners focus on areas that challenge them while reinforcing what they’ve already learned. Practicing speaking with an app fosters a sense of safety which helps me feel more confident when I put my Spanish to use in the real world.
This encouragement even recently allowed me to confidently meet my new partner’s Spanish-speaking family! Was my speaking perfect? Hell nah. Did I win major girlfriend points for fighting the urge to clam up and trying my best? Por supuesto.
Attachment and Relational Challenges
Establishing a nurturing support system can be crucial when developing new habits. Unfortunately, relational challenges such as fear of intimacy or trust, difficulty with boundaries, and/or a history of unstable or dangerous relationships, often plague trauma survivors. Without a stable support system, it becomes more challenging to sustain motivation and accountability for developing healthy habits.
CPTSD can also intensify fears of failure and the desire for perfection. Individuals who have experienced abuse may have been subjected to severe criticism, rejection, or punishment in past relationships, leading to internalized fears of making mistakes, falling short of expectations, or engaging socially in any capacity.
Bonding over shared learning experiences and celebrating the successes of others can help ease the discomfort of social exertion and lower the barrier to entry for those with social anxieties.
Duolingo has several community-focused features, such as discussion forums for questions, competitive leagues, and challenges between friends who follow each other. It even prompts you to virtually high-five friends when they reach their goals. This fosters social engagement, support, and accountability among learners who may otherwise feel uncomfortable.
Negative Coping Mechanisms
CPTSD can lead to individuals developing negative coping mechanisms as a way to survive or manage their overwhelming memories and emotions. These may include self-destructive behaviors, such as self-harm, substance abuse, or compulsive behaviors. Breaking free from these patterns and replacing them with healthier habits requires dedicated effort, support, and often professional guidance.
One of my favorite aspects of Duolingo I’ve mentioned is its gamified nature. The achievements serve as a positive coping mechanism, boosting my self-esteem and motivating me to push myself. Each level I unlock brings a sense of accomplishment that contributes to my overall confidence and mood. It’s a reminder that I am capable of growth and progress in all aspects of life, no matter what challenges I face.
Para Sumar (In Summary)
On my personal journey toward Spanish fluency, I’ve discovered additional strategies that have helped me remain dedicated to the learning process while tending to my trauma-related needs. Incorporating mindfulness exercises, grounding techniques, and self-compassion practices during my Duolingo sessions has created a soothing and supportive environment.
Of course, seeking support from mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can also be instrumental in addressing life stressors, developing coping strategies, and finding personalized approaches to forming new, healthier habits.
Everyone’s experience with trauma is unique, as are the specific obstacles that may arise as a result. It’s important to approach new challenges with self-compassion, patience, and an optimistic mindset. I no longer feel daunted by the seemingly monumental task of learning an entire language. Instead, I celebrate the small victories, embracing progress one day at a time.
Learning a new skill can open doors to new opportunities, cultures and personal fulfillment. Let’s work together to form healthier habits and overcome our trauma.
Veronica Wren Trauma Recovery Book Club
This post may contain affiliate links. This just means if you click a link and decide to make a purchase, I’ll earn a few extra pennies to support my book-buying habit (and do an elaborate, celebratory dance around my apartment just for you). My promise to you is that I’ll only ever recommend resources I truly believe in and have found beneficial in my healing journey. Happy reading!
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please seek help from a professional or contact a helpline specializing in domestic violence. Even if you aren’t ready to leave your situation, talking to someone can validate your experience and get you on the path to safety.
Remember, healing takes time, and it is essential to surround yourself with understanding and support as you rediscover your voice and reclaim your power. Together, we can heal, rediscover our voices, and create a future free from the grasp of narcissistic abuse.
